We’d lack glory and patience. Purity and holiness. We’d combine familiarity with tenderness. We’d fuck more often and we’d talk a lot less.
You and me Kiddo. I’d say. And you’d say you and me Mama, forever. We were out there, making our life together. But four years of each other instead turned out to be enough.
Starting over isn’t just about moving to another state, neighborhood, or house, changing careers, getting rid of fake friends or terrible spouses, or about running away. Starting over is a state of mind. It means that when something has finished, something new must and will inevitably begin, and you are making the choice to start over as a person that directs the journey for what that new beginning will look like.
Some of those moments are just ours.
One must trust completely, to learn to love someone fully. And what would be the point of having you if I can never learn to love you? So, these lips stay shut and are cursed with only the fond memories of yours.
Don’t trust anybody is what everybody has taught me. But love them anyway because at the end of the day, it says more about you than them. Don’t let them break you even though they’ve already broken you open.
I can’t cry anymore because I’ve cried so much already. You can’t break what is already broken. All kinds of different people. All kinds of f---ed up beauty. Different faces. Different experiences.They blur around me, inside me. Part from me. Can’t seem to shake them.
They break. And you’re left wondering, screaming at the universe, what the hell was all of this for? Another life lesson that meant absolutely, nothing.
Because I want to hold you. I am afraid of you. Because I want to kiss you. I am afraid of you. Because I want to love you. I am afraid of you. Because I want to need you. I am afraid of you. I want to learn from you as you enter me. In [...]
For when they leave me, as they always do. Friends. Family. Loved ones. Even the dog. Taking away the love and the flame that keeps me warm, on cold dark nights just like this one, I still can win. For I already know how to create my own light deep from within.