Luckily I dodged a bullet because your false sense of security hidden in your “monogamy” wasn’t really what I wanted in the first place.
I’m tired of looking for love when all I really want is great sex. I’m tired of expecting more, idealistically knowing full well that’s not how this works, how it happens. This is as good as it gets.
The need to reconcile is so strong within me that I can’t tell whether I really want you again or if I just want reconciliation. Some things should not be mended once two people have broken them. Should they?
You want to be loved, as if you’ve never been loved before. Unconditionally, with no strings attached. Patiently. Gently. Softly. Like falling leaves in autumn. You want to be forgiven, for all the flaws and perfections that you lack. Tirelessly, working together in harmony. Suddenly. Abruptly. Continually. Like the full moon circles the earth. [...]
Do I stay? Do I run? Like I’ve always done? Who do I run from now? When my heart and my head are still always there, following close behind.
Sometimes the best advice you can follow, is the advice given to you by your own heart and experiences. Sure. Take the advice and see if it works. If it doesn’t, it’s okay—toss it out! Forge your own journey, find your own way. At least, even if you’re alone, you truly know yourself, what you stand for, what you can tolerate, and what you can’t.